Divorce can be an emotionally exhausting and challenging experience for the entire family, especially the children. Divorcing couples must make it a priority to resolve their issues as amicably and constructively as possible for the sake of their children.
Understanding Custody
Legal battles for children’s custody usually end up being the most bitterly fought parts of a divorce. Some parents fight tooth and nail over the children’s custody, but the courts generally base their ruling on the children’s best interests.
Physical Custody
Physical custody of a child indicates where the child lives. A parent with their children’s physical custody gets to spend most of the time with the children.
A court can direct parents to share custody of their children, also called joint physical custody. Both parents can spend time with their children in a joint physical custody arrangement.
If the courts feel that the child is not safe in the care of one parent, the judge may award sole physical custody to one parent with visitation rights for the other parent.
Legal Custody
Legal custody of a child refers to a parent’s right to make crucial decisions on behalf of the child. These decisions can be about the choice of the children’s school, their religion, or their medical treatment.
Mostly, parents share legal custody, but sometimes, a judge may award sole legal custody to one parent, depending upon the children’s best interests.
Benefits of Shared Physical Custody
Most judges favor joint physical custody because it allows both parents to play a role in their children’s lives.
As a loving parent, you do not want to relinquish custody rights. At the same time, and understandably so, you are not on the best of terms with your ex. Under the circumstances, joint custody is best for both of you and, more importantly, your children.
Fighting for sole custody might seem tempting because you want your children to be with you, and perhaps also as an act of reprisal against your ex-spouse. But you must try to forget the wounds of separation and pragmatically consider some of the benefits of shared physical custody.
1. Healthier Environment for the Children
Children whose connection with one parent is severed after divorce tend to become withdrawn and develop a sense of resentment. Behavioral problems like bullying, dropping out of school, and anxiety disorders are more likely among these children.
Often, children growing up in sole custody develop low self-esteem because they feel responsible for the divorce of their parents. You cannot blame them for feeling this way as they have witnessed their parents fight for their custody, sometimes in long-drawn court battles.
On the other hand, shared custody lessens the trauma of their parents’ separation for the children. It reduces the likelihood of children suffering from feelings of loss, rejection, and depression. When parents set aside their discord and anger for their children’s sake, they forge a pleasant and conducive atmosphere for their children’s happiness.
Less Conflict of Interest for the Children
Children feel they are being disloyal to the absent parent when they grow up in the sole custody of one parent. The guilt tears them apart, and they may blame themselves for sharing their affection with only one parent.
On the other hand, children with access to both parents enjoy an almost normal upbringing with a more balanced approach toward the people in their lives.
Better Health and Social Skills
According to several studies, children growing up in shared custody are better than those growing up in sole custody regarding academics, health, emotional well-being, and social skills.
Better Performance in School
A divorce can be nerve-wracking, as much for the children as for their parents. The children’s academic performance at school is the first thing to suffer during these distressing times.
Conversely, if the parents maintain cordiality in a joint custody arrangement, it significantly lowers the negative impact on the children’s academic record at school.
Lower Burden for the Parents
Parents fighting for the sole custody rights of their children do not realize it at the time, but sole custody brings with it the combined parental responsibilities of both parents. Many parents later feel the burden of additional responsibilities that leave them drained. Shared custody helps parents share responsibilities.
More straightforward to Move on for the Parents
A fringe benefit of a shared custody arrangement is that one parent can rely on the other parent for the safety and well-being of the child without worrying too much. This gives the parents more freedom and time to move on with living their lives, both at work and socially.
You can go out on a date without worrying about hiring a babysitter when your ex-spouse takes care of your children.
Better Focus on Career for the Parents
You can find the time and energy needed to raise the level at work with a shared custody arrangement. You can finally find the time to hone your skills or take the class you always wanted but never had the time for.
Concluding Remarks
You can easily see the benefits of shared custody for you, your ex-spouse, and your children. There is no reason your ex and you cannot be part of your children’s lives. Your children’s health, happiness, and well-being should be the priority.
