You have set up your first meeting with a divorce lawyer. You probably didn’t get much sleep last night. Your mind is racing with all the things that are going on: your marriage is ending, you’re worried about your kids, you’re scared about money, you’re mad at your spouse, and you’re not sure what’s next. And now you’re going to sit down with a stranger and tell them the most painful parts of your life.
You might not think this meeting is very important, but it is. You can tell if this lawyer understands your case, has the experience to handle it, and is someone you can trust during one of the hardest times of your life by the questions you ask during the first meeting. But when you’re stressed out and emotionally drained, it’s easy to forget what you wanted to ask or to leave without getting the information you really needed.
You’re not just getting information at this meeting. You are deciding whether this person will fight for your kids, keep your money safe, and help you through a process that will shape your relationship with your kids and your financial future for years to come.
In Orange County, where divorce cases often involve valuing businesses, large amounts of real estate, and complicated custody arrangements, the lawyer you choose can have a big impact on the outcome.
At Moshtael Family Law, we’ve conducted hundreds of initial consultations with OC residents facing divorce, and we know the questions that reveal the most about whether we’re the right fit for your case.
If you’re preparing for consultations and want to meet with attorneys who have over 130 years of combined experience in Orange County family law, call (714) 909-2561 or schedule a consultation on our secure online form.
Here’s what you need to ask—and why each question matters.
Questions About the Divorce Attorney’s Experience and Focus
1. What percentage of your practice involves family law?
This question cuts straight to expertise. You don’t want someone who handles divorces occasionally between personal injury cases and estate planning. California family law fills thousands of code sections. Case law evolves constantly. An attorney who doesn’t focus primarily on this area cannot possibly stay current with legislative changes, appellate decisions, and procedural updates.
Listen carefully to the answer. If they say “about half” or “family law is one of several areas I practice,” that’s a red flag. You want someone who says family law represents 80% or more of their work—ideally someone whose entire practice centers on divorce and related matters.
2. How long have you practiced family law, and how many cases like mine have you handled?
Years of experience are important, but experience that is relevant is even more so. An attorney who has been practicing for 20 years but doesn’t often handle high-asset cases won’t have the same knowledge of business valuation disputes as someone who has worked on dozens of similar cases. A lawyer who usually handles simple, uncontested divorces might not be ready for a custody battle that is going to be hard.
When you ask this, be clear. Don’t just say “cases like mine.” Tell them about your situation. For example: “We own two businesses and rental properties in three counties. How many cases involving business valuations and multiple properties have you handled?” or “My spouse is threatening to move out of state with our kids. How much experience do you have with move-away custody cases?”
The lawyer should be able to talk about other cases they’ve worked on that are similar to yours, talk about the results (without breaking client confidentiality), and explain how those cases affect how they will handle your case. Answers that are too general, like “we handle all types of family law matters,” don’t give you the information you need.
3. Are you familiar with Orange County family courts and judges?
It’s very important to know what’s going on in your area. The Orange County Superior Court has five family law offices: the Lamoreaux Justice Center in Orange, the Central Justice Center in Santa Ana, the Harbor Justice Center in Newport Beach, the North Justice Center in Fullerton, and the West Justice Center in Westminster. Different courthouses have different ways of doing things, scheduling, and departmental practices.
Judges have different personalities and tastes, which is more important. Some people really want to settle. Some people are more willing to go to trial with their cases. Some people want a lot of paperwork. Some people like short presentations better. A lawyer who often goes to these courtrooms knows these differences and changes their strategy to fit.
“How often do you go to family court in Orange County?” and “Do you know the judge who will probably be in charge of my case?” If the lawyer mostly works in a different county, they might not know as much about the area, which could affect how the case is handled and when it is expected to be over.
4. Do you have any certifications or special training in family law?
California State Bar Certified Family Law Specialists have completed additional education requirements, demonstrated substantial family law experience, and passed a specialized examination. While certification isn’t the only indicator of quality, it shows dedication to the field and mastery of California family law.
Ask also about mediation training, collaborative divorce training, or specialized education in business valuation, tax issues, or other areas relevant to your case. These additional qualifications can be valuable depending on your situation.
Questions About Their Approach to Your Specific Case
1. Based on what I’ve told you, what do you think are the main issues in my case?
This question reveals whether the attorney actually listened and understood your situation. If they repeat back a distorted version of what you explained, or if they focus on issues you barely mentioned while ignoring what you emphasized, that’s concerning.
A strong attorney should be able to identify the central challenges: “It sounds like the primary issues are going to be valuing your business and determining what portion is community property, establishing a custody schedule that works with your work travel, and addressing the substantial separate property inheritance you received.” This shows they heard you and can prioritize what matters most.
2. What strategy would you recommend for my case?
You’re not expecting a complete case plan during a first consultation, but the attorney should be able to outline a general approach. Do they immediately suggest aggressive litigation, or do they discuss exploring a settlement first? Do they recommend bringing in experts for business valuation or child custody evaluation? What’s their thinking about timing and key decision points?
Listen to whether their strategy aligns with your goals. If you’ve said you want to minimize conflict for your children’s sake and keep costs reasonable, but the attorney immediately discusses contentious discovery tactics and preparing for trial, that mismatch matters.
3. What are the potential outcomes for my situation?
Strong attorneys explain likely ranges rather than making promises. They might say: “Given California’s community property laws under Family Code Section 2550, assets acquired during marriage generally get divided equally in value. In your situation, that probably means…” or “Custody cases involving parents who both have been actively involved typically result in shared physical custody arrangements, though the exact schedule depends on…”
Be very wary of attorneys who guarantee specific results: “I’ll make sure you get the house and sole custody” or “You won’t pay more than $500 monthly in support.” No ethical attorney can promise outcomes that depend on evidence, witness credibility, and judicial discretion.
What you want to hear is a realistic assessment based on California law, local court practices, and the attorney’s experience with similar cases—along with honest acknowledgment of uncertainties.
4. What are my options besides going to trial?
Not every divorce requires litigation. Many cases settle through negotiation, mediation, or collaborative divorce processes. Ask what alternatives exist and when the attorney would recommend each approach.
The answer reveals the attorney’s philosophy. If they immediately dismiss settlement options and focus on preparing for battle, consider whether that serves your situation. Alternatively, if they push mediation when you’ve explained your spouse is hiding assets and refusing to negotiate reasonably, that mismatch is equally concerning.
If you want attorneys who evaluate all options strategically rather than defaulting to one approach for every case, call (714) 909-2561 or schedule a consultation on our secure online form.
Critical Questions About Legal Costs and Fees
1. What are your fees, and how does billing work?
Get specific numbers. What’s the hourly rate? Is it the same for partners, associates, and paralegals? What’s the initial retainer amount? When do you need to replenish the retainer? What expenses are billed separately (court filing fees, process server costs, expert witness fees, copying charges)?
Ask also: “How do you bill for communications?” Some attorneys bill in 15-minute increments, others in 6-minute increments. This difference substantially affects total costs. A five-minute phone call billed in 15-minute increments costs more than twice as much as the same call billed in 6-minute increments.
2. What’s the estimated total cost for my case?
No attorney can give you an exact figure—too many variables affect final costs. But they should be able to provide ranges based on whether your case settles or goes to trial, how contested various issues are, and whether you’ll need experts.
A simple uncontested divorce might cost $5,000-$15,000. A contested divorce involving custody disputes might run $20,000-$50,000. High-asset cases with business valuations, forensic accounting, and extensive discovery can exceed $100,000. These are rough ranges—your specific situation might differ significantly.
The attorney should also explain what factors drive costs higher: depositions, expert witnesses, extensive court hearings, and last-minute emergency motions. Understanding cost drivers helps you make informed decisions about which battles are worth fighting.
3. Are there ways to keep costs down?
This question reveals whether the attorney thinks strategically about efficiency. Can you handle certain tasks yourself, like gathering documents or completing financial disclosures, rather than paying attorney rates? Are there ways to resolve some issues without formal discovery? When does it make sense to bring in experts versus handling things more simply?
Be cautious of attorneys who seem to encourage unnecessary expenses or who can’t articulate strategies for containing costs. You want someone who spends your money as carefully as they’d spend their own.
4. What payment arrangements do you offer?
Some firms require the entire retainer upfront. Others offer payment plans. Some accept credit cards. Ask what options exist and what happens if your retainer runs out mid-case. Understanding payment logistics upfront prevents surprises later.
Questions About Specific Legal Issues in Your Case
1. How will our property get divided under California law?
California follows community property rules under the state’s Family Code. Assets acquired during marriage generally get divided equally in value. But “equal” doesn’t always mean cutting everything in half—it means each spouse receives assets totaling equal value.
Ask the attorney to explain how this applies to your specific assets: your house, retirement accounts, business, stock options, whatever you own. How do separate property claims work? What if you inherited money or received gifts? How does the date of separation affect property characterization?
For high-asset cases common in OC, these questions get sophisticated quickly. Business valuations, executive compensation structures, and stock option taxation—these issues require specific expertise.
Ask whether the attorney has handled similar asset division cases and how they’d approach valuing and dividing your particular assets.
2. What custody arrangement is likely given our situation?
If you have children, this might be your most pressing concern. Ask the attorney to explain how California courts approach custody, what factors judges consider under the best interests standard, and what outcomes are typical for situations like yours.
Be specific about your concerns: “My spouse travels extensively for work. How does that affect custody decisions?” or “My ex is saying they’ll fight for sole custody because I work night shifts. Is that realistic?”
The attorney should explain legal custody (decision-making authority) versus physical custody (where children live), how timeshare percentages work, what typical schedules look like, and how courts handle disputes when parents can’t agree.
Good attorneys also discuss practical realities: “While the law allows various schedules, given that you live in Irvine and your spouse lives in San Clemente, certain arrangements won’t be workable during the school year because of the commute.” This practical thinking matters as much as legal knowledge.
3. How is child support or spousal support calculated in California?
California uses a statewide guideline formula for child support based on both parents’ incomes, the custody timeshare percentage, and other factors. Ask the attorney to explain generally how this works and what you might expect based on your income levels.
For spousal support, California Family Code Section 4320 lists factors courts must consider: earning capacity of each spouse, standard of living during marriage, length of marriage, age and health of both parties, and many other circumstances. Ask how these factors apply to your situation and what support arrangement might be realistic.
The attorney should be willing to run preliminary calculations if you provide income information. While these are estimates—actual orders depend on complete financial disclosures and sometimes additional factors—they give you a sense of what to expect.
If you want experienced attorneys who can explain how California law applies specifically to your assets, income, and custody situation, call (714) 909-2561 or schedule a consultation on our secure online form.
Questions About Timeline and Process
1. How long will my divorce take from start to finish?
Timeline depends on whether you settle or litigate, how complex your case is, and the current court backlogs. California requires a minimum six-month waiting period from the date your spouse is served before your marriage can legally end, per California Family Code Section 2339. Even if you agree on everything immediately, you cannot finalize your divorce faster than that.
Contested cases take longer. In Orange County, you might expect 12-18 months for cases involving significant disputes about property, custody, or support. Cases requiring business valuations, forensic accounting, custody evaluations, or extensive discovery can extend beyond two years.
Ask the attorney to estimate the timeline based on your specific situation and what factors might extend or shorten that timeframe. At Moshtael Family Law, our consistent presence in OC courthouses means we can provide timeline estimates based on actual experience with the department likely to handle your case, rather than generic projections.
2. What are the major steps in the divorce process?
The attorney should walk you through what happens: filing the petition, serving your spouse, responding to discovery, attending settlement conferences, possibly going through mediation or custody evaluation, and either settling or going to trial. Understanding the process helps you know what to expect.
Ask also about key decision points: “When will I need to decide about keeping the house versus selling it?” or “At what point do we need to complete business valuation?” Knowing when decisions need to be made helps you prepare.
3. What happens if my spouse doesn’t cooperate or follow court orders?
Some spouses refuse to provide financial documentation, violate temporary custody orders, or otherwise fail to cooperate. Ask what enforcement mechanisms exist and how the attorney would handle non-compliance. This reveals both their knowledge of procedures and their willingness to hold your spouse accountable.
Red Flags to Watch Out For During Your Consultation
Beyond the answers to your questions, pay attention to other signals during your meeting:
They guarantee specific outcomes: “I’ll make sure you get sole custody” or “You definitely won’t have to pay spousal support.” No ethical attorney makes promises about results that depend on judges’ discretion.
They criticize other attorneys excessively: While it’s fine to explain why their approach differs from competitors, attorneys who spend significant time trashing other lawyers might be more focused on making themselves look good than on understanding your case.
They don’t ask many questions about your situation: If the attorney talks for 45 minutes about their experience and qualifications but barely asks about your circumstances, that suggests they’re more interested in selling themselves than in understanding what you need.
They’re difficult to understand: Family law has technical terminology, but good attorneys explain concepts in plain language. If you’re leaving the consultation more confused than when you arrived, that’s a problem.
The consultation feels rushed: While attorneys can’t spend unlimited time in consultations, you should feel like they gave you adequate attention to understand your situation and answer your main questions.
They push you to decide immediately: Reputable attorneys understand you might be meeting with multiple lawyers. Pressure to hire them on the spot is a warning sign.
Contact A Trusted Divorce Attorney in Orange County Now
While dealing with your California divorce, it’s not just about getting information during the consultation. You need to think about whether this lawyer has the right experience, approach, and personality for your case and your needs. You can learn almost everything you need to know by asking the right questions and getting the right answers from the lawyer.
If you hire an attorney who listens carefully, answers your questions directly, explains things clearly, and seems genuinely interested in your case, you can expect them to handle it the same way. If an attorney cuts you off, gives you vague answers, talks mostly about themselves, or makes you feel rushed, they are also showing you what it will be like to work with them.
You are giving this person the power to make some of the most important choices in your life. How your kids will live. Your financial safety. How well you can move on after your marriage ends. You have to earn that trust by being good at what you do and being connected to people.
Schedule consultations with Moshtael Family Law to discuss your divorce. We’ll answer your questions thoroughly, explain what to expect in Orange County family courts, and help you determine whether we’re the right fit for your case.
Call (714) 909-2561 or schedule a confidential consultation now.
Moshtael Family Law serves clients throughout Orange County, Los Angeles County, Riverside County, San Bernardino County, and San Diego County.
Legal Disclaimer: This article provides general information about consulting with divorce attorneys and is not legal advice for your specific situation. Consult with a qualified attorney to discuss your case.
